Post run breakfast. I love fresh berries.
It’s definitely been a while, huh? Life’s just been so hectic with outprocessing from the Navy. However, I am now officially done with active duty service so I have time to work on this Tumblog again.
I’m officially a stay-at-home mom now and so far I love it. Granted, my daughter is more interested in watching Mickey Mouse than interacting with me but I like to think it’s because her toys are all packed away. I’ve successfully taken up stroller running again. It’s been nearly a year and a half since I last ran with one and boy did I know it! The first day was rough because I started off too fast (ran my normal pace) and I burned out quickly. Funny, I never realized how much resistance a stroller with a 30 lb tot can put out. It was a painful wake up call but I felt very accomplished when I finished. I’ve gone 3 more times since then and so far it’s been great! I’m about a minute slower than I normally am without a stroller but that’s really no surprise. I always feel so great after the run because I swear twice as much running with a stroller. Hopefully I’ll be able to drop down to my normal pace in the next few weeks.
Being at home I’ve come to realize I need to fill my time with something to do. I’m getting into the swing of house cleaning and I find it very rewarding, lol. I think I’m satisfying my OCD by cleaning. I also got to cook a meal for the first time in a long time. It felt amazing to cook again, especially here’s because I have a gas range. It’s been fun planning out meals because it’s been so long…we’ve been eating out a lot and I’ve been feeling it. I feel more in control now by cooking our meals (I know, that’s a good and bad thing). I’m hoping that now that I have the time to cook my weight will steady out. It’s been fluctuating because I’ve been going back and forth with the severity of my eating disorder. I had a lot of stress going on so I think that also had something to do with that but my body suffered as a result. Now that I feel pretty stress free, I hope things will be better.
My depression has been a lot better now. I’ve been stabilized on Latuda, Effexor, and Remeron. It’s great to have gone from 8 pills to just 4. I’ve never felt this great in a long time and it’s amazing. For the longest time I just thought it was the norm for me to feel suicidal and that I’d never feel happy. Now I know that my thoughts were wrong. I’m hoping that now that I’m on the up and up I’ll never be that depressed again. I’m keeping positive thoughts in mind =)
I’ve been keeping up with my 12 races in 12 months goal. I ran a 5K a few weeks ago and actually placed first in my age group (20-29). It felt amazing to have own something. Before the race I set out to do the best I could do and it was awesome to achieve it. I’m hoping to keep this positive trend of my running goals. I’m no where near what I was during the Shamrock but I’m slowly getting there again. One day I’ll be at my peak again =)
Well, that’s enough rambling for today. Stay tuned for more focused blogs and recipes in the future!
Read what it says and pass it on.
1 out of 4 people have a mental illness, and you could be the one to help.
And don’t discriminate against someone because sanity, can be HIGHLY over rated.
Month 2 in my “12 races in 12 months” goals took me to running the VIFL14K in Virginia Beach. Originally, the race was supposed to take place on 15FEB. However, since the schools in the area had snow days, the schools had to make up the time on Saturday. This meant a lot of the registered runners wouldn’t be able to make it to the race. To mitigate this, the race directors decided to move the race to Sunday, 16FEB.
I was excited for the expo. J&A tends to put on some awesome expos. I was sorely disappointed by this expo, though. There were maybe 3 vendors, tops, and 4 charities there. Other than that, it was just the race vendor selling Shamrock and VIFL stuff. The “race shirt” was terrible. It was a “jacket” that was made out of plastic that was similar to rain poncho plastic. I did manage to get there early enough to score a beanie, though, which was great because I’ve been complaining about how I need one for the colder weather we’ve been experiencing this year. At the race day booth I was able to get 2 shirts from last year’s race for 5 dollars a piece and a Brooks running technical l/s tees for 25 dollars (on sale due to there being only 2 left and they were both small…score!). After that I left since there was nothing else going on.
Race day was a lot different than what I was used to. My race didn’t start until 0900 so we got there at 0700 to get good parking. I fueled up with a tall macchiato and oatmeal and people watched. I watched the runners take off for the 6K and the first finishers of the 6K cross the line. Before I knew it, it was time to head to the start. I was in Corral 2 so I made my way to the front.
The race started right on time. This was a wave start race so first when Team Hoytt, then Corral 1, then my corral. As soon as I crossed the start line I was met with the wall of slower runners. That was a tad bit annoying as I was trying to get by, politely saying excuse me, and they wouldn’t budge. Ugh. After about a minute I was able to get around and get into a comfortable pace. I didn’t bother looking at my Garmin as I didn’t want to see my pace. I wanted to run a pace that I felt good running in.
First 2 miles consisted of us running from the Virginia Beach Field House, past a school, and through the Farm Bureau Live. Supposedly there was an “uphill” but it was really nothing large. from there we ran through a farm, back past the FBL, down a street, loop back, down another street, out and back, and then out to the end of the sports field, turned around, then ran back to the Field House. Seriously, the entire run was nothing but out and backs. It made for a boring 8.6 miles but at least I knew where the finish was.
I crossed the finish line at about 1:15. I was aiming for 1:10 so 1:15 wasn’t bad at all. My average pace was 8:37, a great pace considering I’ve only been running consistently for the last 6 weeks. I felt great after the run and quickly got through the runner’s chute and to the bread bowl full of tomato bisque with cheese. I got to see my daughter wave excitedly at me as I crossed the line. That made the run completely worth it!
All in all, I thought this was a nice, mostly flat, run. It definitely wasn’t at the caliber that the Shamrock was but it was still nice. My advice would be to get to the expo early to get all the items you want (they ran out of beanies and shirts by the next morning). It’s definitely a good, easy run if you’re looking for something longer than a 5K but not as long as a half.
Sneak peak of photos from the Bon Secours Virginia Is For Lovers 14K. Stay tuned for the race report!
I’m a huge fan of tattoos. If I could, I would totally be covered in them. However, I’m quite picky about what I want to get. I’ve had it in my mind what I wanted for about 5 years now. Finally, I put my big girl pants on and decided to book someone to make my vision come true on my skin. Alas, I met Bennett Edwards and he took his artistic background and created this beautiful work of art:
I am still in shock and awe about how amazing and beautiful it came out. The vibrancy. The glow. The color. It looks as though it was painted on, not tattooed.
Now, I never disclosed to my artist why I wanted this tattoo and why 3 months ago was the right time for me to get it permanently affixed on my body. To explain why you have to ask yourself “What is a Phoenix?” To put it simply, it’s a bird of prey raising from the fire and ash. It raises from destruction as something beautiful. That is my life metaphorically at the moment.
I am rising from the ashes right now. I’ve been struggling from depression, anxiety, and anorexia for years now. Years. It’s beaten me down and tried to destroy me. Now, I’m trying to rise from that destruction, rise from that which is trying to kill me, and hoping that I, like that phoenix, will rise as something beautiful: a person who is happy and loves herself as much as she loves her family. I try to tell myself every day that yes, it’s a dark and painful time in my life but one day this too will be behind me and I’ll realize how much stronger I am.
My phoenix is the metaphor for my life’s direction. It is a physical reminder of all that I strive to become.
source: Daily Garlic
This times 100
I try to remember this every time I feel like such a failure. I’ve done a lot wrong in the past and it eats me up inside on a daily basis. However, I try to remember that I’ve also done a lot right as well.
I’ve been having a difficult time with my depression and anorexia lately. Almost everyday I feel like I want to die. I have a hard time eating anything without guilt and when I do, I panic and purge it. The doc changed my meds up again to try to help me out. Now I’m on 3 different pills. I feel like such a freak because I still feel like shit and now my sleeping is jacked up again.
I almost had a panic attack at the pharmacy the other day. There were so many people and they were just so close to me. The room felt like it was closing in and I felt as though everyone was stating at me. I finally got my meds filled only to be told one of the ones I really needed they were out of. I had waited 1.5 hours to hear that. I almost had meltdown. I went through so many emotions in such a short amount of time (from walking from the building to my car).
Things have been difficult for me. I feel so lost in this great big world. I’m trying to stave off drinking but that’s getting harder and harder. I know it only gives a temporary solution to a permanent problem but for now it’s fixing it for me. I want instant gratification. Besides, I like to tote that it’s usually just 2 drinks and done. Enough to take the edge off but not so much that I get trashed.
I wish this would all just go away…
New Balance does this thing where I fall in love with a pair of their shoes and then they stop making them…or they only make them in mens sizes (damn them). This leaves me to searching for the newest and greatest shoe. Back in June my husband bought me a pair of zero drop Newtons and those they claimed a barefoot-like ride, after I ran my Marine Corps Marathon I trashed them. They were hurting me more than helping me and that was painfully clear on marathon day. I ended up switching back to my Minimus road shoes. Then, I found these babies:
When I saw them I knew I had to have them. They are the ultimate in barefoot running without having to have the funny toe thing going on with Vibrams. At under 3 oz I was super stoked when I bought them with my Road Runner Sports gift card (thanks in-laws!). I waited anxiously for them to arrive. Alas, they came 4 days later. I cracked the box open like a giddy child on Christmas morning and could not wait to put them on my feet
So Minimalist I could use them as jazz shoes!
I walked around in them for a bit to feel them out. I felt really “in tune” with the ground below me. After a few minutes I decided to finally take these babies out for a short 5 miler.
The run in them was fantastic. I felt so agile in them and, most importantly, they were so much like second skin I almost forgot I was wearing shoes! I got to my turn around point fully expecting my feet to hurt but was pleasantly surprised. I felt great. I felt energized. I turned and ran the rest of the way to my house.
I did realize that after a while one of my toes felt quite sore. The shoes didn’t seem too small but after my run that became clearly obvious. I felt kind of sad because I knew I’d have to return them and wait patiently until I got the new ones. However, I was glad that at last I found the shoes I had been looking for since I realized how much I loved minimalist running shoe.
My verdict: If you are the type of runner that loves running barefoot (or close to barefoot) but don’t like the toe look of Vibrams, these are a great alternative. The hexagon bottoms allow for ultimate flexibility so you can manipulate your foot as needed while you run. There is no support or “cushion” in these shoes so if you find shoes without cushion uncomfortable, or if you need special insoles, these are not the shoes for you. These shoes allow for (and kind of force you) to mid foot strike. Heel striking is a bit harder in them since it makes you plant your foot the way it would naturally, but it is possible though I’d imagine it’d be a bit hard on your joints.
If you’re interested in getting them, be sure to order a half size larger as they run small. Also, I would recommend ordering them through Road Runner Sports or any shoe store that will allow you to buy-try-return. This is the main reason I chose to buy them through Road Runner. I didn’t want to purchase a pricey shoe (because they are a pretty penny) that I ran in once and hated. For anyone who is a beginner with minimalist shoes, I’d recommend easing yourself into running in these shoes. I’ve been using them on one run a week until my calves adjust to the demand these shoes place on them.
I hope this was helpful for someone. Let me know if you have questions about them!
when her hand even raises, I’m all
Every time in my EMT class…